"I got something to say..."
I was thinking through how to start this post, and that statement came to mind. As I continued my early morning walk, mulling over the ideas in my head, that line kept creeping back in. It was always that line too, not the grammatically correct one. I kept hearing it in different voices, but was struggling to place it correctly. Then it hit me: it was from a lot of different places.
Some of you may be saying, "Duh, it is from To Kill a Mockingbird, when Mayella melts down on the stand." Ok, only the English teachers are actually saying that.
Others might say, "Nah, it is preceded by 'Yo Dre,' by Ice Cube during his NWA days."
Still a few more might say, "Really? That's obviously Joe Eliot of Def Leppard, working through the intro to 'Rock of Ages"."
And some of you may not want to admit it, but as Misfits or Metallica fans, you are mentally screaming, "No! DO. NOT. FINISH. THAT LINE!"
But honestly, none of that has anything to do with what I want to say. Or does it? Each example above is followed by something that the speaker felt was pretty important, no matter how disturbing it was (looking at you Lars).
So maybe that is why I fell into that seemingly unrelated mental rabbit hole. I, in fact, got something to say. And who do I want to say it to? That is important too.
Parents.
- We are not in opposition. Teachers and parents are not naturally at odds. I truly believe that. I know it may seem that we are. I try to be honest with the kids in my classroom, or how else would they trust me? So, I need to be honest here too. I have read the social media posts and heard the public figures say teachers want to destroy our kids, attack what we love. I have heard them call teachers evil. Those posts, those broadcasts, those rants, anger me, and they hurt. We used to be able to talk to each other, as opposed to making someone who disagrees THE OTHER, the one we have to feel hatred for. It shouldn't be that way. I have different perspectives on some things than some of my close friends, but we are still able to be friends. I'll also admit that I have also seen others post and rage, some of them educators (that honesty thing isn't easy at times) as they attack parents in their districts or set all teachers as opponents to parents. I've seen some of those teachers attacking other teachers too, but that is for another day. Now, I do not speak for all teachers, and I will never try to. This is my voice, my post, and sometimes I struggle with what I want to say, and at those times I tend to listen. One of my proudest moments as a teacher was this year, when a student told me that one of the things she learned, one of the biggest points of growth, was that she can hold strongly to her principles, can speak them boldly, and she can also listen to others who differ in their perspective. She said she understands things better now because of that. I may have some different perspectives on some things than some of my students' parents. I may align on some things pretty closely. Above all, I truly believe that nearly all of us align very well on one particular thing, THE particular thing: We want what is best for kids. You want what is best for your kid in particular, and often, what is best for all kids. That is what we are striving for. What is best for kids. Over the years, as we have weighed what to do, what to try, what to prioritize, the question my colleagues, my principal, my mentors have posed in the most crucial times is "Is it best for kids?" That is the guiding force. It really is. We want those kids we see every day, the kids you nurture and guide at home, to succeed. We are not in opposition in that desire.
- We, teachers, are parents too. I don't mean we are trying to take the place of you for your kids. Definitely not. What I mean is many of us literally are parents. I had a discussion with a parent a few years ago about something we had done in our classroom that their child had come home and discussed with them. The parent said it was a good discussion, but she questioned why I had chosen to use a particular piece of content in our room. That's a question I can answer. After explaining my reasoning, I added that with everything we do in my classroom, it passes one test first: would I be ok with my son or daughter in my classroom at that moment? In fact, my son and daughter both were in my classroom as students, and I continue to ask that question now that they have moved on. Now, I do not pretend that every parent would agree with my answer. I understand that. But I love my kids. I want no harm to come to them. Have we had uncomfortable situations? Yes. Have I weighed the discomfort with the benefit of the situation? Yes. Have I made mistakes? Oh yeah. What parent hasn't? And again, see #1.
- I am going to make mistakes. I try to minimize them, but I, like you, am human. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be doing this job. I wouldn't have answered the calling, and a calling it is. I have a really strong grasp of my content, and I know the science behind learning. I was and am a nerd. But the intellectual part of the work is definitely only a part of it. The part that makes me love teaching, that makes me happy to return to the classroom after a rough day (or year) is the human side. And that side is going to lead me to make mistakes. And when I do, I will try to do better. There is a quote from Maya Angelou that says, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." I try to live by that. One of the things we stress in our classroom is that learning is never-ending. Learning is the most important thing. That goes for me too. So, when I make a mistake, I want to learn from it. It might be hard to face sometimes, and I might get defensive. Sometimes, it might turn out that it wasn't even a mistake. We're all learning here. We want to do our best. Again, see #1.
- I am excited to see your kids. The last year and a half have been hard for a lot of people and we are still rolling with the hands we have been dealt. Not every part of the country (or even our State or county) was in the same situation or dealt with it in the same way. I realize everyone's situation is a little different. I was excited last fall that we would be face to face and have our kids in our classrooms and on our playing fields. Was I happy about masking and returning to rows of desks and enforcing social distancing guidelines? No, not really, but to have kids safely in our classrooms, it was worth it. Was I stressed, worried, anxious? Immensely. But I was excited to work with the kids in person again. I am excited to be together again this year, even though circumstances are once again not certain. I went through my rosters as soon as I found out they were available. When one of my sophomores-now-juniors emailed me and asked if I am excited to have her in class again, I could honestly answer "Yes" and mean it. Every day, I am excited to work with the young people that grace our halls, whether it be in the classroom or on the field. Am I excited every single day to face every single kid? Maybe there are days when I am not jumping with exuberance to interact with a particular student. Some days are tough, and some days, people can be rough. Sometimes, that excitement gives way to disappointment, and those days are difficult. Let's face it: some days suck and are exhausting. But I want to be there on those days too, and it is usually on those days that someone will surprise me, amaze me, inspire me. Every day something happens that makes me excited to be a teacher and gives me hope. Sometimes, I have to have someone remind me to look for those moments or think through the day to remind myself that they did in fact happen, and sometimes we have to pull on the smallest of victories. That's not always easy. But it's worth it.
- This one is big. I will talk to my students in less than two weeks about this one. It's vital to our classroom and to our learning. It's vital to any kind of relationship. Communicate. That said, no one enjoys getting yelled at or raked over the coals. I get anxious having to make the uncomfortable phone calls home, reading an angry email, or walking into a meeting where people are clearly upset or angry. I would prefer we communicate before we get to that point. Share your thoughts. Ask questions. Listen to understand. If you need more, let's continue that conversation. I tell my students to talk to me, email me, message me, drop a note on my desk, whatever, if you need me to know something, need to ask something, or if they are upset. We are working together here. I acknowledge that it is possible that we may not always agree, but hopefully we will understand one another. And hopefully we can keep ourselves headed toward that common, ultimate goal. #1.
