"My Apologies"

Lately, I have slowed in my frequency of posting on this blog. I know this has caused all of you who read this periodic piece of thought-provoking brilliance great distress. I apologize. No, truly, I do. I apologize to you, the reader, but more to myself. I'll explain.

When I began writing this blog, it was so I would have an opportunity to put my ideas on paper. I just realized how that phrase has gone from literal to figurative in my life in such a short time. Anyway, I wanted to put my ideas down, to knead them like bread dough, and let them proof and rise. I wanted to share, and I wanted to think. In my first post, I discussed the idea of writing to think. With my reduced frequency of writing, I must then admit that I may not be thinking nearly as much, or as deeply, either.

I am not saying that I have taken more time as the summer has passed to allow my mind to completely stagnate.  I have been forced to think about the entire concept of teaching literature at the college level as well the effect of the skyrocketing cost of college on the selection of majors by today's scholars. Mr. Jerry Marsh had written an commentary on the latter as a response to an article we had both read about the decline of the English major, and he shared an article on the former with me yesterday. Leave it to Coach Marsh to remind me that I need to regularly read The Wall Street Journal. I carried on a conversation with Jason Williams this very morning about the irony in the conflict of Django Unchained, a film I want to watch but have not gotten around to this summer, and we discussed some of the points of contention in the Zimmerman trial. I had an epiphany in the shower the other night about how to make a strategic adjustment to a trips formation by utilizing the strengths of our athletes while maintaining consistency in their techniques and using practice and teaching time in the most efficient manner. I thought about the Uberfact tweet that stated "If humans were able to hear sounds at a frequency lower than 20Hz, we'd be able to hear our own muscles moving" and how such abilities would affect the atmosphere in the weightroom.  I read Andrew Bauer's blog on the conflict in the debate community regarding debate styles and what each style demands and teaches. As a teacher and a former debater, I really did think about what he had to say. We are both kind of dorks. Really, read his blog; he says so right there.  Ya Nerd

So, I have been thinking about stuff, and I have been talking about those ideas and thoughts. That is positive. However, sometimes, the solo act of writing forces us as intelligent beings to formulate those thoughts, mull them over, and "put them on paper".  We need the give and take of discussion with other people, and that sometimes comes through interactive writing, such as blogs, as well as the traditional face to face variety. However, I also need to look inside myself sometimes. For me, writing is a form of solo conversation that allows me to dig deeper into my thoughts and argue with myself. It creates those rabbit trails that I discussed in a previous post, those meandering excursions that are sometimes diversionary, sometimes fruitful.  Maybe that is just me, but it is how it works in my little world.  So, I write. I actuality, I have written two other drafts of posts tonight, but I have not been able to develop them to a point I am comfortable enough with the ideas to post them. I need to think on them a little more. It does not always go smoothly; sometimes thinking is hard. So, I fell back on a trick I used in college when I was stumped on papers for EN or LA classes: I wrote about writing what I am trying to write. Why? It goes back to what Coach Marsh once told me about improving my speed: "If you want to run fast, you have to run fast." If you want to write, and write well, you have to write.

So, while I apologize to you for my not writing more. I have to apologize to myself as well. I have to say to myself, "Self, you are cheating me by not allowing yourself to be better, to improve yourself." Sorry self. My bad.