I am blessed in so many ways, and one of those gifts that I am reminded of at the most opportune times is that I have two of the most creative, thoughtful children. There is a myriad of ways that they prove this to me over and over again. So many times, I grow as a person and as a teacher just because I get to spend time around them.
Recently, my lovely offspring reminded me that I need to let my kids, those who call me Dad and those who call me Mr. Kohls or Coach alike, teach me more often. Every year that I teach, some kid teaches me to look at a piece of literature in a different way. So many poems, such as "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock" have touched varying cords with different students, and when they are allowed to tell me what they see, hear, and think, when they have the confidence to let those ideas guide our discussions, new angles are opened and amazing new lights are shed on the language and speaker of the poem. I look forward each year to diving in and hopefully watching a student, often one who might not be atop the list of most likely to deliver a literary gem, surface with a fresh pearl.
This week, my son Dylan wanted to talk. That in itself is an event. Dylan is not one to waste breath and effort on idle chatter. When he shares, it is usually something he has been rolling around in his head for a while or something he has been researching after a chance encounter. On this occasion, my boy wanted to talk about Of Mice and Men. SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVE NOT READ IT, WELL, SHAME ON YOU. GET A COPY AND READ IT. THEN COME BACK HERE AND FINISH READING THIS POST. Dylan had been reading the novel in Miss Porter's English class, and he had read ahead and finished it on the bus that afternoon. He started the conversation with "I finished the novel today. And well, um, I cried a little." I told him that was good; it meant that the novel was worthwhile. It had moved him, which is a terrific thing. I also told him that I always teared up when I read the end of the novel, and sometimes even when Candy lets Carlson shoot his dog. For the next hour or so, we talked about the classic and what the characters had done, why they had done it, and what it all meant. Then Dylan hit me with a new one. "Dad, I think the farm is supposed to be Heaven." I had not thought of it that way before. It represented dreams, hope, a future. Heaven? Hmm. Dylan went on to tell me that the farm was Paradise, it was the place that Lenny hoped to get to one day where no one would make fun of him, and no more bad things would happen. And he had to be good to get there. It was Heaven. He went further. The only way for Lenny to get there was to die. He had to die to reach Heaven because it was never going to happen on earth, and that is when he would be truly happy. So George let him go.
I did not lead him to this thought in any way. He just went there, and the more comfortable he became talking, the more his mind turned. And then he taught me. He reminded me that I sometimes need to get out of the way and let it happen.
Now, this is also the same kid who spun a joke during a conversation about the Rubio-Trump mudslinging that included a comment about Trump's small hands. Dylan's turn. "You know what they say about guys with huge hands, right? They get shot in the back of the head by their friend George."
My son.
Tonight, I was taught another lesson by my lovely daughter Emily. As a second semester frosh, she is taking 3D Design and is sculpting a figurine of Alice's (you know, from Wonderland) great-great granddaughter. As part of the project, she is also designing packaging artwork that involves other descendent characters. She had already sketched an amazing depiction of The Mad Hatter as inspired by the lead guitarist for Motorhead. Then we started bouncing ideas for other characters, inspired by rock legends, preferably from the from the 80s. Joan Jett-inspired Red Queen? Debbie Harry-influenced White Queen? We spent a long time throwing out potential models for the Blue Caterpillar. Jimi Hendrix? Jim Morrison? Iggy Pop? Axel Rose? It had to be somebody lanky.
What is the point here? We just turned the ideas to an arena for which Emily has a passion, in this case, hard rock, heavy metal, and classic rock. Then we just had fun with the ideas. Now her sketchbook is full of ideas that may grow and blossom. The possibilities are infinite.
I need to give my kids, all of them, the tools to dream and think, and then get out of the way. I need to supply support and encouragement, and the opportunity to grow, in knowledge, expectations, confidence, and passion. I know I need to be there and it is not always going to work perfectly. Sometimes I do need to deliver material or content, and I need to make it relevant. But sometimes, I need to just listen because when I do, kids surprise me. They show me new things and make me see old things in new ways.
They point out Heaven. And often, how to get there.
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