Friday, January 24, 2014

The Boast of King Kohls


Last week, I assigned to my senior English students what is apparently the most difficult piece of writing ever hatched in the mind of a teacher. It was, gasp, the Eipc Boast. All right, perhaps that is a bit of hyperbole. However my kids did stress out about this simple 15 line piece of writing. It struck me that despite all of the criticism that seems to be piled on this generation of kids, the accusations that young people today are arrogant and self-center, this group of kids struggles when they are actually given permission to brag on themselves. In a world of Richard Sherman (I am the greatest! Don't talk about me!"), the regular high school student, at least most of those whom I work with each day, truly are modest, and they do not really want to pound their chest and say, "This is how great I am!"

That being said, these seniors responded, and they produced some interesting pieces of writing. They were asked to boast as Beowulf did. They were to boast on their origins, brag on their abilities, and accentuate their accomplishments. Exaggeration was encouraged. That's hyperbole ya'll. And kennings were a must. It is intriguing to see what these young people choose to boast about. Physical looks, athletic ability, the ability to shoot, skill in driving, intellect, and speaking ability all made the cut. Sense of humor, being a good friend, honesty, culinary skill, and persistence did too. One student boasted that he was the most humble, and he proceeded to expound on that belief. The boasts were telling, they were surprising, and they were funny. One included a few more references to bodily functions than I would have predicted, but I did laugh. Two students mocked the rap tradition of the boast and battled. I loved what these seniors produced.

One thing I try to do when I give writing assignments is model what I expect. I am making them write, something many of them are not too keen on, so it only seems fair that I do the same. I usually enjoy the writing, so it is good for me. This year, I told the kids i would write my boast since some of them were struggling as they put pen to paper. I did it, and while a couple of classes did not ask to hear it and let me off the hook, the last two classes of the day called me to the podium. I still get nervous when I read my own words in front of a class. Some of these young people are harsh critics. Then I thought I would share it here. Why? In the words of Mr. Blutarsky, "Why not?" So, here you go.


"The Boast Of King Kohls"
Hail all around me; and lend me your ear
The tale of Jane and Delmar’s son now hear,
From the 785, Ellsworth was my home,
Before my journey began and I had to roam,
From scholars of Baker where I read and grew
To land of Redskins and finally Buh-
ler, my home, my place of celebration
Where I teach now and coach in Crusader nation.
Hundreds of youths have passed through my doors
Great men and ladies who have paced these floors
Among them the brightest of this father’s jewels,
A daughter strong and artistic, living by her own rule.
Soon to be followed by a young man of mind
Who questions all things and fame he will find.
I have coached warriors here, great and strong
Who have reached the summit, where they belong,
With championship in hand, earned by effort and sweat,
But I do not want to stop with my appetite wet.
Add to father, coach, and teacher on my list of success
Twenty years with my bride, since the day she said yes,
And the pen’s blood that runs onto many a page
As I weave tales of passion, love, or rage.
Now I look ahead, as any boast should
To what lies before me; I look toward the good.
In my life as a teacher, I see many young minds,
As a coach on the field, more trophies I’ll find.
One day my novel or volume of rhyme
Will be bound and found on shelves for all time.
As a father, striving, doing my best,
I must help them succeed, to be happy and blessed.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

"Some Things"

Well, it has been a while. I a having trouble keeping my promise to write at least once a week. No excuses, just have not made time for, which is even worse because one of the reasons for this blog's very existence is so I will write regularly. In actuality, I have written a couple of different posts, or at least started to write them, but I just did not feel they were ready for primetime (hopefully at least one of you understands that reference. So, that being said, here I go.

What to write what to write. Every blogger seems to have a "stuff I love and stuff I hate" post every now and then, probably when they do know what to write about, so I will go with that. If you are bored or feel I am wasting your time, you can definitely move on to something else, and I will be fine with that.

Hey, I will start with that. One thing that annoys me is the loud and belligerent response many people have to TV shows, music, movies, and the like that they do not like, and the demand that everything be changed to match what they want. Usually, regardless of the issue or where the respective sides sit politically, the "other side" will then come back with just as much volume and fervor, with one side screaming "free speech", oftentimes when such an application of the Bill of Rights is not appropriate. Unless the speaker is being muzzled, directly or indirectly, by some level or branch of the government, keep that objection in the holster.  If you do not like what is said, turn the channel, do not buy the album or products advertised on the program, or do not attend the screening. Start a movement for others who agree with you to do the same. People have a right to express themselves, even if I disagree with them or if what is said proves to be offensive. I respect that. People who disagree have a right to express themselves too. We all also have the right to turn the channel. And when it is tied to business, especially selling advertising, turning the channel might be the best way to express your dissent. Money talks, and most businesses will only take a moral stance so far when the register stops ringing. If you turn the channel, at the least, you will not have to listen to and you will not be supporting someone whose views run counter to yours.

Ok, that was something that annoys me, so here is one thing that I love. I am thrilled when my students take something I say or present them in class and turn it over in their minds, then throw it back at me in a question. The other day, a freshman (we will call him Dawson) took my notes on tragic heroes and asked me a question about the TV series Breaking Bad. It took what we were examining, and it clarified the view for many of the kids sitting in that classroom. "Oh yeah. That makes sense" is a line that warms the heart of any teacher, regardless of how we get to that point.

You know what else I love? Twitter mentions. I know that some of you just groaned and rolled your eyes. Not just Twitter applies here, I guess. Facebook mentions are neat (I think I want to start a movement to bring back the use of the word neat, but that is a totally different dicsussion). I really do love when a student or former student mentions me in a tweet about what his college professor said or something that we had done in class that is now paying off. Or maybe it is about something in a movie he saw that harkened back to a discussion in class. Perhaps a football player, or his mom, liked the highlight video I posted. Whatever it is, tt is just plain cool. Call it being egotistical, insecure, or needy; I do not care. It brightens my day. #thankyou

Those mentions are one of those little things that I appreciate. I guess I am trying to say that I try to love, and appreciate the little things. That is one of the main rules of Zombieland, afterall, so it must be important. I love when students say, "Good morning Mr. Kohls" when they come by my room and drop of their books and bags early in the morning. I try to return that favor. I love when a fellow teacher asks me what I am doing in class, or send me a link or activity that he or she is using in class and has been useful. I love when my daughter comes in between classes and gives me a hug or asks if I want to see what she has drawn or painted. I love when my son decides to empty the dishwasher or make cookies. I love when former students stop by or catch me at a game or in the grocery store just to say "Hello." I love when kids surprise me with what they have written or ask questions for the first time in class. I love when a fellow coach or a player says, "Thank you" for something that I enjoyed doing in the first place. I need to do a better job of that. I don't say, "Thank You" enough. I love when my wife kisses me goodbye in the morning just before I walk out the door. Little things that are not so little. They are neat.

I am done for the day. I could complain much more, and the list of things I love is definitely incomplete here. However, you are probably becoming bored, or annoyed, and are welcoming a conclusion. So this is the end, my friend.

Oh, and if you feel like it, give me mention, or a retweet, if you want. That would be #neat.